Following her highly publicized mishaps on season 4 of “Basketball Wives”-and the firestorm of criticism that followd by the likes of Star Jones and the general public via petitions to have the show boycotted– Evelyn Lozada has appeared to have a change of heart. Penning a heartfelt letter she shared exclusively with HuffPost’s LatinoVoices, Evelyn admits her shame at both her upbringing and her decisions as an adult, and pleads with her inner child to be patient as she works to become the person she so wanted to be-someone to be proud of.
While many questioned the sincerity of her letter, I chose to focus on the importance of looking back and having that conversation with your young self. So many of us carry the weight of our (imperfect) childhoods on our shoulders and allow it to influence our adult decisions, relationships, and expecttations. But what if you could talk to yourself at the age you found influenced you most as an adult? What if you could make peace with him or her, and let it go? What would you tell yourself?
If I had to pick a pivotal age for me, it was thirteen. I was a sophomore in high school, and struggled immensely to find an identity and kindred spirits. I chemically straightened my hair and flat-ironed it so straight it eventually fell out in clumps from the damage. I would stay out of the sun in attempts to keep my skin light and look more “stereotypically Latina”. I endured constant verbal assaults from my peers, and dreaded going to school. For a very long time after, I based my entire outward appearance on what other people thought of me and constantly sought out the wrong people for attention and validation. I was asked a while ago on another blog what I would say to myself then and the entire content was summed up in two sentences;
“Amaris- YOU, right now, at this very moment, are ENOUGH. Don’t ever let anyone make you believe that you aren’t worth it.”
What age do you believe impacted your adult life the most? What would you say to yourself at that age? Do you believe in acknowledging your inner child, or do you subscribe to the Maya Angelou adage; “Your childhood wasn’t perfect, but it’s over”?